This episode is a really fun one for us because we have come up with a list of 10 questions to ask each other. Neither of us knows the questions the other has come up with or what the other person will answer, so you’re getting our real and raw reactions and responses!

Questions for Nathaniel:

What is one thing you’ve learned about yourself since we’ve gotten married that you didn’t know about yourself before?

Answer: This season of life has been teaching me a lot about myself than previous seasons. We used to be in a season where we weren’t making a ton of money. We were comfortable, but close to living paycheck to paycheck. I was pretty sure that I had a love of money under control, but now that we are in a situation where we don’t have a regular biweekly paycheck, I have realized that I still have that idolatry of security and control.

If we could travel anywhere in the world together right now, where would it be and why?

Answer: Currently, it would be Edinburgh, Scotland! I had the opportunity to go there and England for a school trip over the summer and by far, Edinburgh was my favorite stop of the trip. It’s a great city! We were able to worship at a church called Charlotte’s Chapel and it was one of the coolest worship/church experiences I’ve had. I also loved the city itself- there’s a mini mountain you can climb to look over the city. I really want to take Xan to experience it together.

What is your favorite thing about being a foster parent?

Answer: It’s really cool because originally in this process, we were only going to foster younger kids/toddlers (because we currently have toddlers). But, the opportunity came up for us to take a teenager and we both felt a supernatural peace from the Lord. We now have a 15-year-old foster daughter and I have absolutely loved it. There’s the ability to have deep conversations, watch fun movies together, and go for snack runs at the grocery store. She’s incredible and amazing- we love her so much. It’s been a blessing to be in her life.

What is your favorite memory from our marriage and what makes it special?

Answer: Honestly, there are so many and it’s hard to pick just one. The first memory that came to mind is our one-year anniversary trip to Charleston. Our honeymoon was rough (we got into one fight, Xan’s back was hurt, we weren’t able to do everything we wanted, etc…) and very underwhelming. So for our one-year anniversary, we wanted it to be awesome. It really felt like a redemptive honeymoon experience.

Of course, the birth of our children is a favorite as well!

What habit or quirk of mine annoys you the most?

Answer: Oo- I’ve got a new one. Sometimes when you go pee, you don’t flush. There’s a 33% chance that when I go to the bathroom in the morning, you didn’t flush at night.

Oh, and another one- when you drive the car, you leave the keys in random spots that are always so hard to find.

What is a hobby you’ve always wanted to get into, but never had a chance to?

Answer: Man, this is a hard question- I kind of like simple hobbies like running and basketball. I go through phases where I think sailing would be cool, but I get pretty bad motion sickness. BUT, if I had all the time in the world- ultramarathon running.

What is your biggest piece of advice to new dads?

Answer: I go back to this idea of sacrificial leadership. Husbands are called to love their wives as Jesus loved the church. He led by service and sacrifice. When it comes to the practical day-to-day, you do everything you can to provide financially AND spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc… Wash the dishes. Wake up and feed the baby. Change the diapers.

What three items would you bring to a deserted island?

Answer: 1) my Bible, 2) a water purifier or desalinator, and 3) a flint/knife in order to be able to start a fire. Very practical- nothing super fun.

What is an unusual skill or talent that you have?

Answer: I can juggle- it’s really fun! I learned it at my job on a Welcome Day for new students. I basically practiced all day.

If our marriage had a theme song, what would it be?

Answer: Dancing in the Minefields by Andrew Peterson. It’s our first dance song and it basically tells our story. It’s also very gospel-centered.

Questions for Xan:

What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?

Answer: Embarrassing? That’s hard to answer… When I was in sixth grade, another kid told me that the zits on my face looked like Dippin Dots. That’s probably not the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me, but that’s all I can think of right now.

What was your most formative childhood memory/experience and why?

Answer: I’m gonna have to go with having stage-four cancer. When I was in third grade, almost nine years old, I was diagnosed with stage-four kidney cancer. It had metastasized to my lungs, liver, etc… I wasn’t really supposed to survive. I had chemo and radiation and wasn’t really sure if I was going to be able to have kids after that. And I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to have kids or if I would, if they would be healthy. Obviously, these were very trying times. At the time, I was very aware of what was happening and I still remember very vivid details. Even though I very much remember a lot, as a kid, I took on the role of an optimist and tried to cheer others up.

It was a miracle that I survived that. It’s been 16ish years and I have barely had any effects from the chemo and radiation. It probably took years for this experience to really affect my life. Afterward, I was just trying to bounce back to a normal life, but I began to realize that it was a miracle that I was alive and that I was here for a purpose.

What is your favorite animal and why? 

Answer: Cows. 100 %. They’ve always been my favorite animal. Growing up, my family were dairy farmers and I’ve always wanted to live on a farm. I love the country life and cows are just a part of that. I honestly dream about having a family cow. No joke.

If you had to live somewhere and could never leave (think like a 50-mile radius) where would you live and why?

Answer: I don’t know if I would change my location! If anything, we would have built a house with a homestead in the same town we’re living in right now. We’ve got all the grocery stores we need and big lakes that seem like oceans. If I had to go somewhere else, I would say a big homestead with a lot of land near Nashville, Franklin, and places like that (somewhere with better weather than here in Wisconsin).

What did you think the first time you saw me? 

Answer: The very first time I saw you, you were on a bus with pj pants on… I don’t think I honestly had very many conscious thoughts about you then. But, the first time we had an actual conversation, I was definitely obsessed with you. I thought you were so solid and very attractive.

Who is an inspiration to you and why? 

Answer: I always struggle with this question! The first person that comes to mind is Phylicia Masonheimer. I feel like I always reference her wisdom. She’s an author and podcaster and is big in the women’s theology space. I really appreciate that she’s in the same season of life we’re in. She lives simply and practically, but everything she does is theological and intentional. I just respect her a lot, even if we don’t agree on every point.

What is the strangest fact about you that people would never guess? 

Answer: I was a very unique child- I thought it was fun to put a dewy decimal system in my bedroom library. I had a scanner on my computer to put books into my database. I had spy cameras set up… I didn’t want to be a kid when I was a kid- I wanted to be respected and thought of as mature.

Do you have any hidden talents? 

Answer: I can play piano! I don’t very often because we don’t have one.

You are 95 years old and on your deathbed, what do you want people to remember you for?

Answer: I hope that people, especially my kids, will remember that I genuinely loved the Lord. I want my kids to look at me and remember all the times I was reading my Bible or when I pointed them back to Christ.

One Degree Shift

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