Welcome back One Degree fam! It’s time for part two of our Christmas Q&A miniseries. We opened up another Instagram question box, so these are all your questions! This is part two, and we’re gonna answer all the personal and fun questions! But go back to part one to get answers to questions about Christmas, its origins, and what the Bible has to say about Christmas!

Question #1

What would you do if you had a child with a Christmas Birthday?

This is basically up to personal preference. I (Nathaniel) would hype up the fact that they share a birthday with Jesus!

Lots of options:

• Have a special half-birthday celebration day if you like to have big experiences for each kid’s birthday
• You could do a big celebration the day before or after Christmas
• Sing happy birthday to them and Jesus and have a cake

There’s truly so much you could do!

Question #2

How do you incorporate gifts into the season and what do you tell your children is the reason?

We like to focus on generosity. We’re chill about Christmas and gifts anyway, so we don’t like all the materialism and pressure of timelines. Kids are already so self-centered and the consumerism of Christmas can really feed into that.

So, we focus on giving and generosity! We give because God gave to us. He gave us everything when He gave us the gift of Jesus.

This year we’re going to give gifts on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day, we’ll focus on giving away things we have/even some of the new gifts to others and hype up how fun it is to be generous. 

Question #3

What do y’all do for gifts for your immediate family? How do you navigate extended family who want to go crazy with gift buying for each other and it is deeply important to them?

Some people do feel loved through giving and receiving gifts. It’s their love language! So, you don’t want your hesitation about gifts to be a stumbling block to loving them well. But on the other hand, you may not be able to do big extravagant gifts.

So, we like to focus on the sentimental piece. Something that communicates we love and know them and are thinking about them. It doesn’t have to be expensive! Things like pictures, homemade items, favorite foods, etc…

One of the best things you can do is decide on the front end (with your spouse if you have one) who it’s important to buy gifts for. You can also initiate and open up honest conversations with your family about what you can do. Maybe others feel the same! Either way, don’t be afraid to stand your ground. It’s important to:

1. Be on top of communication. Be forthcoming and upfront.
2. Be mindful of those who will feel loved by receiving a gift. Give small, sentimental gifts that show you care!

Question #4

Favorite gifts for parents? “I always find parents the hardest to shop for.”

I’m (Xan) not the best with gifts because I don’t love giving them for an occasion as much as just seeing something that makes me think of someone.

Realistically, we also just have a really tight budget so even if we wanted to splurge on things, we just can’t- it wouldn’t be responsible.

We usually go for the sentimental route! Personalized sweatshirts, picture frames, personalized picture books, etc…

Maybe it’s me projecting my (somewhat minimalist) lifestyle on others, but I feel like by the time people are grandparents they have everything they need/want. So, gifts are more about sweet gestures of love!

Question #5

Favorite traditions you have as a fam?

We don’t have a ton of traditions- but it is kind of slowly growing. I (Xan) don’t feel any pressure to have a lot right away.

Here’s what we do:

• Picking out our Christmas tree at the farm
• Friday movie nights become Christmas movie nights
• Crafts become Christmas crafts
• Drive-through Christmas lights

We really like the small, consistent traditions more than the big event kind of traditions. We take the normal rhythms we have and insert Christmas into them!

Question #6

How to deal with grandparents who don’t agree even though they are believers as well?

There is a lot of nuance with this question. It’s kind of hard to answer without knowing more details. Is it parenting decisions? Where you’re doing Christmas? Is it food stuff? Does it have to do with gifts? 

Regardless, I think you have an honest discussion with them explaining why you operate the way that you do. Explain the why behind your decisions and ask them to respect that. Tell them you love them but if they can’t respect your decisions, boundaries, etc… it erodes the trust that you have with them. They should respect you and have your back!

Try to find a middle ground. Ask why they don’t agree with your decision. Try to figure out why they operate the way they do and why they don’t agree with you. There can be some give and take.

Question #7

What is your approach to gift-giving?

We don’t do gifts on Christmas Day. We want Christmas Day to be undistractedly about celebrating the birth of Jesus and family.

In general, we focus on experiences or gifts that foster togetherness or items. Things like swim lessons, zoo passes, art camp, a trip, etc… A good question to ask yourself is: will this gift foster togetherness or rivalry and fighting? This question actually made me (Xan) decide not to buy a gift for one of our girls because it would likely lead to a fight with the other sister.

Starting this year we will also have them give away something they own. We want gifts to be special, but we don’t want our kids to become spoiled or entitled. We’re still figuring out how to walk that line well, but we want to teach that gift-giving is sacrificial.

One Degree Shift

If there is a conversation about gift-giving or holiday plans that you think needs to happen, pray about it and make plans to have it!

And- watch a Christmas movie this weekend! (We recommend The Grinch, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas, and The Santa Clause movies).

Want to Stay a Little Longer?

• Listen to these other episodes on Christmas Q&A Pt. 1, Christmas with kids, and raising “good” kids.
• Download: Guide to Your Weekly Marriage Meeting to start being intentional with your weekly communication today
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